How to win friends?
The current pace of life and the flow of constantcasual acquaintances that can happen on work or on vacation, does not allow people to get real, loyal and constant comrades. Therefore, many of us are interested in how to win friends and what to do for this.
Making friends: potential candidates
To win someone's attention and company,it is necessary first to decide on the candidature or candidatures. To do this, you can choose one of two ways - you need to look at the circle of your communication or, perhaps, potential buddies there:
- among the working collective or people with whom you constantly meet at dinner;
- in transport;
- among former classmates or fellow students;
- among former friends with whom contact was lost for some reason, but good relations remained;
- among people, communication with whom could be more frequent;
- among good acquaintances, who were easy to communicate with in the past, or had common interests;
- among familiar relatives, close by age.
Institution of new acquaintances
For this you need:
- attend groups of interests (sports clubs, dance classes, art schools, etc.), because with people who can be found there, you can definitely find much in common;
- to attend exhibitions, discos or in the cinema, where you can also meet related souls;
- be among potential partners, communication with which occurs daily;
- get acquainted with friends of friends with whom there are common ground.
To make new acquaintances you may needa lot of effort. When individual hobbies are designed for only one person, you can add something that would involve several potential friends in it, it will help to get closer and find common themes for communication. Psychologists say that the best way to find many new acquaintances who will later become true friends is to live a full-fledged, vibrant life and not have an original end in themselves to win friends. Once in the company of friends, you need to try to engage in an interesting conversation in order to better know people. In the course of communication, of course, some people will be eliminated in connection with the divergence of interests or simply personal dislike. But do not despair, because thanks to this will remain the most necessary people with whom it will be possible to establish real friendships.
How to win friends and keep friendship
When new acquaintances are already established, and peopleare at the stage of developing friendly relations, it is necessary to try to diversify communication. The best way is to communicate with new friends outside the usual environment. To do this, you can organize meetings in nature, in a bowling club, etc. During communication, you need to listen carefully to your interlocutors, especially if a person opens up and tells something very personal. The next time you can start a conversation on the same topic, thereby showing that you remember all the details and problems of a friend and that you are interested. Thus, you will show that this person is not indifferent to you and will gain even greater confidence in him.
It is necessary to try to meet new friendsas often as possible and not to abandon their invitations. You can not miss the opportunity to communicate with people, even if there are some fears or doubts. If you constantly sit out at home, your friends will stop calling you, since they will believe that inviting you somewhere is still useless.
Tips for psychologists about how to make friends
Dale Carnegie, an American educator and psychologist,in the 40s of the last century he wrote a book called "How to win friends and influence the people." In this paper, the author has gathered practical advice on how to win a friend, as well as many real stories from his practice. The book is based on the following principles:
- Ways of location to yourself people:
- It is necessary to be interested in people vividly and sincerely;
- Smile is the most profitable and simple way to put people to people and produce a good impression;
- Calling a person by name at any suitable moment, since Carnegie believes that for each of us the most pleasant sound is the sounding of one's own name;
- You need to talk about topics that interest potential friends;
- People need to be inspired that they are very valuable and meaningful.
- Ways to persuade opponents of their opinion:
- You need to show your compassion to your benevolence;
- The best way to win in a dispute is to evade or not to admit it, because in both games both are losing;
- We must immediately admit our wrong, in the case when this is indeed so;
- It is necessary to build a conversation in such a way that from the very beginning it is opposed in the affirmative;
- It is better to try to build communication so that the one with whom the conversation is being spoken is more than you;
- It is necessary to push the interlocutor to the idea that this or that idea, which is beneficial to you, belongs to him, that will help further communication;
- In any situation it is necessary to try to stand in the place of the interlocutor and accept the point of view, which he defends.
In addition, for a long-lasting friendlydialogue Dale Carnegie advises never to carp, not to point out the shortcomings of a person in a direct form, not to criticize, but to sympathize, be polite and grateful, to praise a friend for any, even the most minor, accomplishments and achievements.